Truth vs. reality.

As a kid we think we have things all figured out. Our path will be smooth and easy, not even a pebble would dare stand in our way. By the time we are in high school we think our future life is waiting for us and as soon as we graduate we will be given a road map along with our diploma. With each trial and stumble we start to question our past believes, yet we trudge on knowing that the future we want is just around the next corner. Unfortunately, our rose-colored glasses break too quickly, but that does not mean that hope should not remain.

For me my dream has changed more than once and at times my hope has faltered, but I have been fortunate to always have someone to pull me out of my despair. Through them I have learned the importance of being there for others who are hurting. It is not always an easy task and is often thankless, but that does not mean it is worthless.

I am not grateful for the stumbles and falls I have had, but I am thankful for the lessons I have learned from them. Each loss, heartbreak and setback has allowed me to relate to others differently and show them love and support in ways I never could before. Unfortunately, I have no magical cure, but I do have a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen with and a smile to brighten your day. Sometimes those little things are the biggest when we are broken.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


A spark.

For the past few months I have wondered if I should continue with my daily posts. Is it worth it? Am I helping myself? Am I helping others? I think the answer to the first two questions is yes. Although my post have veered from many recovery topics I feel like they still document an important stage of my life. To the third question the answer is I am not sure I will ever know. I do get positive feedback and I do know my words are reaching others, beyond that the answer is unknown to me.

There are days that I feel like I need to write something inspirational, but of course those are the days that nothing comes. I do not claim to be a great thinker, nor do I wish to be. All I want is to help strike a spark in someone else. I hope somewhere out there a person who reads one of my posts and it helps them to know they can survive whatever their struggle is.

We all have a unique stories that are being written day by day, and we all impact each other more than we know. I think sometimes we forget that.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Surprise Laughter

On my way back to work from lunch my mind was wandering and I suddenly started to laugh. It took me a short bit to process what my mind thought was so funny, and it was not what you would expect. Honestly, it was not what I expected. Yet there I was giggling to myself on the same route that used to be filled with tears and a brave front.

It is no secret that the week before my wedding was unconventionally stressful. The day before when my family and friends were helping me set up for the wedding that would never be, I ran into my office quickly. I was obviously distraught and very stressed and off handedly said that I would tell them the whole crazy story in a year or so when it became funny. Well, many parts of it just became funny.

I will not be recounting the story here in any farther detail than I already have in the past, but it is now just over a year and I feel an odd sense of peace. That day was like the start of a really bad romance movie (if anyone wants movie rights please let me know), but it was not the end of anything. It was the beginning of everything. I am stronger, wiser and getting better each day. It is unfortunate that sometimes we need to go through unbelievable pain to find our path, but I hope someday when I get where I am going I can look back and smile about how far I have come.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

In the way kitty.

img_5102There are times I wonder if my cats like me, then there are others that they seem to be attached to me. Lately I have been thankful to almost always have cat shaped friend close by. Although sometimes they need to learn boundaries. For example, I am capable of washing my own hair and do not need to be groomed daily, nor do I need a wake up call at 4:30 in the morning.

I guess we all show love in different ways and I would honestly miss each of their annoying habits if they stopped… maybe not the 4:30 wake up, but everything else.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

So very fortunate.

We are all a work in progress, like wet clay being shaped. Each person we come in contact with leaves their mark on us. Whether we know each other in person, from social media, or you simply follow this blog for one reason or another, my hope is that some of you reading this can say I have been a positive influence on your life. When I started this blog my main reason was to crate a form of mass communication and attempt to alleviate questions. I had secretly hoped a byproduct of my words would be to help others in pain, and I think at times I have.

In my recovery process there were many times that woman have stepped out of their comfort zone to tell me their own stories of loss. Each one had a particularly special impact on my life, because they showed me that the other side of this pain is full of possibilities. It is because of them that some days have been less difficult, and my hope has never faltered.

Every day I am thankful for the amazing women in my life. From friends to family there are many role models and inspiring woman who have been through thick and thin with me. I have been so very fortunate, and I hope each of you can say the same about the woman in your lives.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Focus on good.

A few times I saw this quote pop up in my facebook feed about bad days and it was inspiring. I will be honest, I am often annoyed by posts and re-posts on facebook, but at the same time I am sometimes very inspired by them. It is no secret that I have had some bad days, some very bad days. There were some that I had a good five minutes that I did my best to milk all day, and others that I had a horrible five that I did my best to move past.

After the first time I saw this quote I did my best to keep it in mind. I think to often we let ourselves get carried away by a bad five minutes and let it dominate everything. I wish I could give an answer to eliminate this problem, maybe it is simply human nature. No matter what the roots of it I hope the next time something bad happens you give yourself a few minutes and let the bad pass. We have all known bad days, truly horrible, awful days and survived, but that does not mean we need more of these days to prove our worth. Enjoy the good moments and let them spread, once you shift your focus you create a brand new world. A world focused on good is a world worth living in.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

In like a lion.

My hope for March is to be a little more consistent with my days and more outgoing with my time. In January I did such a great job of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and spending time with others. Unfortunately, February I was back to old tricks of a mostly solitary existence. Not counting my weekend away, I rarely saw anyone outside of work. Now we are to the first day of March and my goal is to find a balance between what January was and February became.

The old saying about March is that it either comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, or vice versa. As the snow currently piles up outside I am hoping that by the end of March we will be well on our way to sunshiny days, outdoor adventures, and achieved goals. Some days we can take great strides, others end up being tip toed through, but everyday my hope is that I can do the best that I can to work toward the over all goal.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.