The snowball affect.

Staying motivated this week has been a challenge. You know how sometimes one thing throws you off and the rest snowballs until you are not even sure how it all started? Well, that has been my week. Work has been full of odd moments, and at home nothing seems to fall in place quite like I want. The next few weeks will be a challenge, and I am not looking forward to it, but as long as I take one thing at a time I know everything will get done.

Most of the time things never turn out as bad as you think they will. Hopefully that will be the case this time.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Advertisements

The obvious.

Too often we look for solutions in the wrong places, but thankfully we have friends that make up the difference. They are able to find the lost car keys that are already in our hands and the sunglasses we are wearing. They find a way to guide us without making us feel like fools and support us despite ourselves. When you are lucky enough to find a person like this, hold on and never let go. Stating the obvious with grace is the most difficult thing to do, but it is also the sign of a true friend.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Forward.

One year ago I never thought I would be where I am now. Honestly, a year ago I was not quite sure what direction my life would be going and could hardly think a week ahead let alone a year. There are still many things I need to figure out, but day by day I like to think that the picture is getting clearer. I have so many ideas for how I would like my life to move forward, hopes and dreams that might someday come true. The fears of my past still feel like a storm cloud following me but the future is bright, and I plan on pushing forward letting the storm fade away.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Bread crumbs.

Today I was reminded that looking for a flair to guide me is not worth the effort. What I need to do is look for is the bread crumbs. It would be so much easier if the signs were always big and flashy, but more often it is the little things that show you the correct path. There is no yellow brick road or bright light to guide you. Just hidden trail markers that we have to trust are leading us on our best path possible.

A flair would make it easier, but having to keep an eye out for the little things keeps us humble, strong and wise.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Pancakes.

There are still things that I avoid. Place, people, conversations, things. At the beginning I tried very hard to make what I could my own. Running was his thing that I adapted for myself during our relationship, the week after everything fell apart I forced myself to put on my running shoes. The first few runs were pretty miserable, but I made it through and still continue to run.

I never know what will trigger a memory or an emotion. Sometimes I am able to face the potential threat head on, but more than not things blind side me. Even cleaning can produce memories I would rather forget. But each time I face these things it gets easier and I still hold out hope that one day they will disappear.

The one thing I have the most difficulty with is food. There are still many meals that I simply can not imagine making, but today I checked one of those things off the list. It took months for me to talk myself into making pancakes. There have been many days that I craved them, but I was unable to bring myself to mix the ingredients. I almost cried while eating them today.

Who would have thought that pancakes would ever be something I would try to avoid, but it was our Saturday tradition to make them together. He liked them with blueberries, I like them with chocolate chips. I wish I could forget these things, but I know the only way to get over it is to create new memories to overcome the old. So moving forward I will be enjoying chocolate chip pancakes a little more often.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Check marks.

After months of feeling behind at work, I finally feel caught up. Maybe this weekend I can finally feel the same way about the rest of my life. I feel surrounded by small piles of disasters just waiting to happen. Unanswered letters, supplies left around, dishes that need to be done and cloths to put away. This weekend I want to turn my “maybe tomorrow” projects into things done. By the end of the weekend there will be a column of check marks and a much shorter list to be finished.

At this point, anything is possible.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Plans.

When I go for runs I have to remind myself that going faster does not move the mile marker any closer. No matter how fast or slow I go a mile is a mile. I think this is a concept that is important to carry through to other parts of our lives. Too often we think if we hurry here or there, get this or that faster it will help us achieve a goal sooner than we expect. Unfortunately that is very rarely true. In fact the opposite seems to occur more than not. Our desire to move forward and achieve our goals sometimes leads us down the wrong path making our achievements more difficult and our goals further away than before.

The plan is already in motion. God already has us working in the correct direction long before we know what we want. I know sometimes that is difficult to understand and wrap our heads around, but it does not change the truth. In the end every ache and pain, tear and sleepless night will be worth it. His plan is better than yours.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.