Understanding.

The planning it takes to make a TV show or movie never ceases to amaze me. The intricate story lines that run through season after season only to make sense after many episodes, and some not till the very end. Even after watching something many times over I still notice things I missed before, sometimes I wonder if the actors involved understood the twists and turns their characters were taking. A part of me hopes they are not fully aware, it makes me feel better about missing them myself.

I always wonder how this theory of not understanding something till you play through the moments again applies to life. More often than I would like to admit I have looked back and figured out the “Ah ha” moment that I missed at the time. I know there are more signs I should have seen that could have saved me some hurt along the way, but you do the best with what you have in the moment. What I do know is that there is a predetermined method and path for me. Hopefully, someday I can see how the unexpected twists and turns changed me for the better but for now I will do my best to watch out for the signs and keep moving forward.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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Non-stop.

So far this week has been non-stop. I knew I was walking into a few things that needed to be done, but I guess I underestimated the full extent of it. Although it is giving me little chance to ease back into things, busy days are keeping me moving so I miss my time off a little less. The truth is vacations are never long enough, but it is nice to go back to work and feel like a necessary part of the team.

Tomorrow will be another full day, and I am already counting down the days till the weekend. Why does there always seem to be so much to do and too little time?

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Time stands still.

There are some places the time stands still. That it doesn’t matter when you go or how old you are when you show up, the comfort that place brings is always the same. One of those places for me is camp. As soon as I turn down the road that leads to the entrance I can feel a change, the anticipation of what this time will hold.

As a teenager I spent most of my summers in this place and started some amazing friendships. This is where I had my first job as a lifeguard and learned a lot about a lot. There were days that we walked circles around the campground and others we played games for hours.

This is the place I disappear to in my mind when I need an escape from the day to day, but today and the next few days it is my reality.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

A combination.

Something about today was strange. It might have been more of a combination of things than one single oddity, but it was there none the less. This heat has set a different kind of tone over everything and I have mixed feeling about my time off. As excited as I am about my plans, and to have a whole week of no work I am still wary of too much time outside of my normal routine. Last year I avoided long stretches of vacation after my February time off went upside down. I know this week off will not be the same, but a part of my brain goes there whether I want it to or not. There are times I really wish I could turn off some memories so I could enjoy the moment without worrying about the past.

Tomorrow is the first Monday in far too long that my alarm will not go off at 5:30 in the morning. Hopefully it will be the first of many amazing things in my vacation adventure. I will do my best to focus on each good thing and leave my fears behind.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Less than 24 hours.

What an odd week of highs and lows. Words can not express how glad I am that there is only one more day of work left. Too many times to count this week I have reminded myself that how many days were left, and here I am less than 24 hours away from a week-long vacation. A week of no 5:30 alarm clock, no sitting in front of a computer all day and no being stuck inside while outside is so beautiful.

Next week will bring time with family and friends, at least a hike or two and lots of time hanging out in a hammock with my nose in a book or journal. Hopefully it will be just the thing I need to feel rested and ready to tackle whatever the rest of July holds.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

For me.

This evening I took time for me. I got home from work and took a nice walk in the sun, got something to eat and relaxed in my hammock to write a letter. It was a lovely way to spend the evening. True, I am just as behind as ever with chores and other parts of life. But tonight I was the priority, and I feel more refreshed because of that decision. Tomorrow, I will most likely have to face up to my responsibilities, but I will face that tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Time for me.

It always seems like I am preparing for the end of something. The months fly by and before I know it we are starting over again. Keeping up seems impossible when it feels like we are always starting over. This long weekend has really shown me the value of taking some extra time for yourself every once in a while. Moving forward I need to make that more of a priority instead of feeling like I am constantly drowning and burning the candle at both ends.

I am beyond grateful for this three day weekend. The last two days I have been able to check off so many things off my list, some of which have been lingering for far too long. Thankfully, I still have one more day finish what is left. I would very much like to end this month on a good note and a feeling of completion.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.