There are different types of tears and I think I have experienced them all. The kind I hate most are the ones that sneak up on you and refuse to be held back. They leave you crippled for a short time unable to move. For me, the tears may linger, but the worst of it passes quickly. My heart aches as the tears flow, like pain from picking at a scab not quite healed.
Any more these tears are rare, but a combination of many little things this week has added up to an unfortunate bout of them. A song a co-worker played, watching someone else begin the struggle of recovery after loss, a much anticipated (and talked about) royal wedding, combined with my own emotions and stress was the perfect recipe. All week I did everything I could to say strong, but today I let enough of my guard down and it all impact me at once.
Every time I think I am stronger than my past I am reminded that the road I walk is long. When the tears come I remind myself that these are tears that I will never have to cry again. There will be more in the future, but these ones have passed.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.