There are times that I think I have nothing more to say, but I know that is untrue. The good thing is that the hurt dissolves a little more every day. At times I wonder if it will every fully disappear or if it will morph into something else. There was once a time that I was holding on to each breath and praying for the tears to stop. Now each breath comes easily and the tears are rare, but I am not sure what direction my life should go.
Every day still feels like another failed attempt to find understanding. Although I know I have reached a certain level of balance, I still feel like I should have that “Ah ha” moment that pulls everything together. I am aware such a moment will never come, but it feels like my mind is forever searching for it anyway.
I am thankful for all the continued prayers, there are times I can feel them lifting my spirits and giving me strength. As much as I would love a greater sense of understanding, the truth is all I really need to know, is this is the path I am meant to be on and I will walk it with greater strength every day.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.