The attention span of a gnat

I currently have the attention span of a gnat. Not exactly where you want to be Monday evening. Hopefully I can pull myself together for the rest of the week and be productive, otherwise I might be in trouble. I did manage to get a few things done this evening, but boy do I wish I could be two people sometimes. Honestly, it is so frustrating thinking that you were moving forward in your life with someone by your side, just to be left alone again. Sometimes it is silly things, like having someone else to help with the dishes or to vacuum while you clean the bath tub. Then there are the big moments like sharing special events and making memories.

I know that if I could go back I would never want a different outcome. What happened was meant to be, this is simply a storm I had to weather. But that does not make being alone any easier.

As a side note, anyone know how to train cats to fold laundry?

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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My best each day.

I am sure from most perspectives my posts seem like just another heartbroken girl attempting to make sense of a break up. I guess you are not completely wrong, but to me I am not so much trying to make sense of the break up but to find a way through to the other side. With each passing day and each post I write I am trying to re-introduce myself to me. I know I will never have all the answers, but that doesn’t stop me from doing my best each day to make it better than the last. What the future holds is unknown to me, but I know that I can handle anything that comes my way with more strength and confidence than ever before.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

The original day.

Planning my wedding was an interesting experience. It had many levels of frustrations, one was a wedding date change. My then finance decided that he wanted to move up the wedding by seven months. At the time it was a great idea, we both wanted to begin our adventure together that much sooner, I have never wanted a long engagement anyway. It is so crazy to think of all the extra stress and frustration I put myself through to end up in a place I never thought I would be.

Today was the original date of the wedding. It has been an odd day. My calendar at work has whiteout covering the words “My wedding day”. The words may be hidden, but I still know they are there. Most of today I have wondered what would have happened if we hadn’t moved the wedding date. Would I be celebrating with friends and family right now? Would my future be completely different?

I continue to have so many questions about my failed relationship that I know will never have answers. Honestly, I am not sure I want to have answers, because the only one that can help solve the mysteries is the one person I hope I never see again. Besides, having answers will only create more questions to be answered.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.