Surprise Laughter

On my way back to work from lunch my mind was wandering and I suddenly started to laugh. It took me a short bit to process what my mind thought was so funny, and it was not what you would expect. Honestly, it was not what I expected. Yet there I was giggling to myself on the same route that used to be filled with tears and a brave front.

It is no secret that the week before my wedding was unconventionally stressful. The day before when my family and friends were helping me set up for the wedding that would never be, I ran into my office quickly. I was obviously distraught and very stressed and off handedly said that I would tell them the whole crazy story in a year or so when it became funny. Well, many parts of it just became funny.

I will not be recounting the story here in any farther detail than I already have in the past, but it is now just over a year and I feel an odd sense of peace. That day was like the start of a really bad romance movie (if anyone wants movie rights please let me know), but it was not the end of anything. It was the beginning of everything. I am stronger, wiser and getting better each day. It is unfortunate that sometimes we need to go through unbelievable pain to find our path, but I hope someday when I get where I am going I can look back and smile about how far I have come.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


So very fortunate.

We are all a work in progress, like wet clay being shaped. Each person we come in contact with leaves their mark on us. Whether we know each other in person, from social media, or you simply follow this blog for one reason or another, my hope is that some of you reading this can say I have been a positive influence on your life. When I started this blog my main reason was to crate a form of mass communication and attempt to alleviate questions. I had secretly hoped a byproduct of my words would be to help others in pain, and I think at times I have.

In my recovery process there were many times that woman have stepped out of their comfort zone to tell me their own stories of loss. Each one had a particularly special impact on my life, because they showed me that the other side of this pain is full of possibilities. It is because of them that some days have been less difficult, and my hope has never faltered.

Every day I am thankful for the amazing women in my life. From friends to family there are many role models and inspiring woman who have been through thick and thin with me. I have been so very fortunate, and I hope each of you can say the same about the woman in your lives.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Focus on good.

A few times I saw this quote pop up in my facebook feed about bad days and it was inspiring. I will be honest, I am often annoyed by posts and re-posts on facebook, but at the same time I am sometimes very inspired by them. It is no secret that I have had some bad days, some very bad days. There were some that I had a good five minutes that I did my best to milk all day, and others that I had a horrible five that I did my best to move past.

After the first time I saw this quote I did my best to keep it in mind. I think to often we let ourselves get carried away by a bad five minutes and let it dominate everything. I wish I could give an answer to eliminate this problem, maybe it is simply human nature. No matter what the roots of it I hope the next time something bad happens you give yourself a few minutes and let the bad pass. We have all known bad days, truly horrible, awful days and survived, but that does not mean we need more of these days to prove our worth. Enjoy the good moments and let them spread, once you shift your focus you create a brand new world. A world focused on good is a world worth living in.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


The unfortunate truth is at one point or another we all experience loss. People we care about will no longer be in our lives or tragedy will strike when we least expect it. In a perfect world we will be able to handle each situation perfectly, but the truth is that is close to impossible. What I know to be possible is when you surround yourself with people who can help you through each moment the loss becomes easier to bear. This is the one universal, fail proof way to survive anything.

So often we try to grin and bear our hurt never relying on anyone. I have found this to be the biggest mistake. No one has the exact experience that you or I have, and you know you would never wish that hurt on anyone, but everyone knows the pain of loss. It is a universal hurt that we can all empathize with. Whether a devastating break up, or the loss of someone special the ache we feel deep inside is understood.

Lately, I have been feeling more confidant and consistent with my emotions. I feel like so much of that is because of the support I have received from so many. My hope is that I have also been a support to others around me.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the primer of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and today is the 15th anniversary of Fred Rogers passing. Like so many, as a child I loved Mr. Rogers. He had such a magical tone to his voice that made you feel like he truly cared about you. I remember being shocked when I learned he had passed away in 2003. It felt like my childhood was officially over. I know that sounds a little strange, I was 16 and clearly not a child anymore, but there was something odd about knowing that there would never be new adventures to be had with Mr. Rogers.

Today, a PBS article popped up in my facebook memories from 2015. It is entitled  “Watch Mister Rogers’ heart-warming message to his grownup fans“. The short minute and a half video was filmed a few months before his death and is worded perfectly. As always in his calm voice he gave one last encouraging word to the generations of viewers that he impacted. Each person is unique and different with our own worries and troubles. We all have fears we are facing and struggle to find hope at times. Somehow even at 31 hearing that Mr. Rogers likes me just the way I am brings a tear to my eye and reminds me of how strong I am.

“… I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger. I like you just the way you are. ”

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


Life is like a row of dominos. Each move we make can changes the series of events. Maybe the path we expected to take is blocked off from us, but in time the big picture is formed. If one piece is out of place sequence everything could change. From time to time, I find myself wondering what I would have done different if I could go back in time keeping the knowledge I now have. I am sure I would have made different decisions, but that does not mean I would have done everything right or ended up anywhere different. Maybe a decision I made would have taken me down a different path of heartache and I would be sitting here writing the same post with a different past.

The best thing we can do with our past is to accept it and to not let it hold us back. I think it is important to share our experiences, both good and bad with those around us. We can not change our past, but we might be able to influence someone else for the good. There is a whole world out there waiting to be conquered. Just because tragedy struck does not mean our dominoes are done falling. I am holding tightly on the fact that someday these dark days will be an integral part in the beautiful bigger picture I am working toward.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


For the past few weeks I have had strange dreams almost every night. They are not sad or upsetting, just weird to the point that I wake up feeling confused and unrested. I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason for this issue, but I am at a loss. Maybe my fear of what February held has brought up past emotions that my dreams are filtering out, or it could be rooted in a few stressful weeks at work and will soon dissipate.

It has never been uncommon for me to have bazaar dreams here and there, but typically they are not set on repeat for weeks at a time. Hopefully the outlook of an easy week ahead and the hope of a new month will mean deeper sleep and enjoyable dreams. Crazier things have happened.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.