War.

Just because you know what side will win the war does not mean you can avoid the battles. There have been many times that I know what the outcome will be, but I have to go through the tears and pain to get to the other side. I knew eventually I would stop crying myself to sleep and the gaping hole in my chest would start to close. In time each battle was won and each win made me stronger.

My constant prayer has been for me to gain strength and courage. To be able to handle the internal pressures and pain with grace, and put on a strong outward appearance. For the most part I have succeeded, with a few exceptions. Sometimes emotions are not meant to be held in.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for so many reasons and it has left me exhausted and drained. There are multiple people in my life that are hurting and the worst part about it is that there is nothing I can do. There are no words I can say to make everything better, no gift I can give to make up for the pain. I feel so helpless, and I hate it.

What I can do is offer up prayers. This week I feel like I have truly been praying without ceasing. I know this war will be won, and battle after battle prayer will carry us all through with strength and courage we did not know we possessed.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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A new adventure.

Often God reassures our insecurities in ironic ways. I have toyed with moving forward with an adventure for a month or so, but in the last few weeks I feel like God has been pushing me forward from so many sides. Everything combined has given me a huge amount of confidence and I hope will lead to many exciting things. I spent most of today taking a step in the planning. There is some preparation that needs to be done and more time needs to be invested before I will say too much more.

Right now I would really appreciate prayer. I feel good about what I have done so far and I know deep down this is a path I am meant to take.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.