The hurt dissolves.

There are times that I think I have nothing more to say, but I know that is untrue. The good thing is that the hurt dissolves a little more every day. At times I wonder if it will every fully disappear or if it will morph into something else. There was once a time that I was holding on to each breath and praying for the tears to stop. Now each breath comes easily and the tears are rare, but I am not sure what direction my life should go.

Every day still feels like another failed attempt to find understanding. Although I know I have reached a certain level of balance, I still feel like I should have that “Ah ha” moment that pulls everything together. I am aware such a moment will never come, but it feels like my mind is forever searching for it anyway.

I am thankful for all the continued prayers, there are times I can feel them lifting my spirits and giving me strength. As much as I would love a greater sense of understanding, the truth is all I really need to know, is this is the path I am meant to be on and I will walk it with greater strength every day.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


Love, support and prayers.

For the third time since my own life changing event I find myself having to watching a friend go through a tragic loss of their own. Even after all this time I don’t know how to string words together to provide comfort. I honestly am not sure what was said to me that I took solace in. So much of the weeks to follow that day are a blur to me.

Psalm 9:9
The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

What I do remember is the most important thing was to know that people were there and praying for me. I have felt and continue to feel so loved. That has helped more than I can say. So here I sit feeling wordless and sad but sending all my love, support and prayers knowing that there is truly only one person that can provide the comfort needed and whisper the right words at the perfect time.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

4:30 a.m.

It feels like I could sleep for days and still be tired. I have had such a strange sleep pattern for the last few weeks it is starting to catch up to me. Usually I get to bed at a decent hour, but I wake up at strange times and am unable to fully get back to sleep. I am getting very tired of seeing 4:30 in the morning.

My hope is that this is just another time that my brain is over thinking things and like in the past it will eventually stop. Sometimes that anticipation is worse than the event its self. I think that will be true in the case of the upcoming date I wish I could forget. For now, all I can do is to push through and accept all the love, support and prayers that come my way. After all, I am one lucky girl.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Steadfast & thankful week 2

This week had a lot of ups and downs. There were some days it helped to record something that I was thankful for. It was a week that felt like it had too many days in it, yet somehow not enough time. Here is my week 2 round-up for my “steadfast & thankful” challenge.

img_2775Day 6:
It was not a bad Monday, but I definitely had some Monday blues. So when it came to dinner I was thankful for some yummy comfort food.

img_2781Day 7:
I am thankful to live in a country that has so many freedoms.

I voted today.
Did you?

img_2819Day 8:
It’s this pretty girls (approximate) birthday! She has not always been the most well-behaved cat, but I am forever thankful for her “grooming”, head butts, cuddles and unfailing kitty love.

img_2862Day 9:
I’m feeling a little yucky today, but thankfully my coworkers let me go home early. Hopefully with a little extra rest I’ll be ready to take on Friday.

img_2943Day 10:
I am always thankful
for Saturday’s that I
don’t have to set an
alarm for.

Day 11:img_2968
Today is Veteran’s Day, a day that we pay tribute to all those who served.
For the past four years my mom has had her 6th grade students interviewed local veterans who served in a time for war. From these interviews they create videos that are shown on Veterans Day at the local theater. This year the videos featured veterans from WWII and the Korean War.
I am thankful not only for the veterans, but also for the unforgettable experience these kids were given. After all, those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.

img_2974Day 12:
It was a little dark at my desk in the evening and I know it will only get worse as the winter goes on. Today I got a not so pretty but very effective light. I am thankful for a bright spot to work and create.


Visit Grace & Salt ink on their website at 
and follow them on FacebookInstagramTwitter • Pintrest


It is a strange feeling when you know that the world is moving forward around you, yet it feels like you are standing still. I am well aware that is not the case, there are many amazing things in my life that are slowly moving me forward. Still the pace feels slow. I wonder if that is always the perspective we have on our own lives. We each watch out lives slowly tick by minute by minute without fully understanding the big picture.

I often wish I could rush forward with more confidence, but I am sad to say I am still a little too wary. My prayer is that slow and steady will win the prize and the strength, courage and confidence I will slowly gain back in the process will help me win in the end.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Grace & Salt ink.

Somewhere in 2014 I came across the talented Rebecca on Instagram. I instantly fell in love with her feed. She posted pictures of her beautiful quilts and other sewing projects. She was also one of the first people to introduce me to Bible journaling, a hobby I have finally taken up after admiring others for so long. Never would I have imagined the path the simple act of following her would be.

In the time since the fated day I followed her, Rebecca has had an adorable daughter and started her own business called Grace & Salt ink. She still makes beautiful things and occasionally posts pictures of sewing projects and Bible journaling, but for the most part Rebecca fills my feed with journals via her business. She makes beautiful leather travel journals that she calls an inkDori and are made for adventure.

img_9857img_2616Currently, I am the proud owner of two of two inkDoris. One I purchased early in my recovery process. It has bumps and bruises showing how well loved it is. I have carried it on all my hiking adventures and it is rarely far away from me. My second inkDori was a prize for winning the Grace & Salt ink’s pocket prayer journal photo contest. It was a huge honor to be recognized by her and I was excited to add to my collection.

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person”.
Colossians 4:6

Today, I am happy to announce that I am joining the Grace & Salt ink’s brand ambassador team

img_8425Throughout the past months having an inkDori has helped in so many ways. My pocket sized inkDori has turned into a safety blanket that is always by my side. I am so thankful for the strength and courage I have gained from journaling. Needless to say I am excited to join the Grace & Salt ink. team and help spread my love of the brand.

Do you want your own inkDori to document your adventures? Visit Grace & Salt ink’s website to see their amazing selection of inkDoris, notebooks and other journaling tools!


Visit Grace & Salt ink on their website at 
and follow them on FacebookInstagramTwitter • Pintrest

This tear-stained road.

I still have no clue where this tear-stained road will take me, but where ever it leads will be worth it. I pray every day that the lessons I learn during this time will be able to help others. God never puts us in a situation without a purpose, and most of the time we will never truly understand the reason.

You have never been tempted to sin in any different way than other people. God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tempted more than you can take. But when you are tempted, He will make a way for you to keep from falling into sin.
1 Corinthians 10:13

The tears come slower now and it is amazing how much I have changed. The pain has started to disappear but sometimes I am afraid that the scar it has left behind will never fully be gone. Every day I hope will be able to overcome my fears of the future and be able to seize each opportunity that presents its self. This road may be long, but I will eventually reach a cross-road opening me up to a world of possibilities. I wonder what opportunities will be waiting for me there…

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.