Race day.

img_2432Last year the Ridgewalk and Run was the first race I ran as an adult. I trained for it and worked hard to prepare myself. My then fiancé and some friends had a great day on the course and spending time with each other. This year I was not well prepared and I now have a growing pile or race bibs to prove it was not my first race. But the weather was beautiful, I still had a friend to race with and joke about our shared goal of reaching the end so we could eat.

It is crazy the difference a year can make. There are times I want to be irrationally angry, jump up and down screaming, but really what good will that do? True, without the past my life would be so very different, but that does not mean better. There are many experiences that I had because I was with him that I know make me better and will hopefully continue to be a positive thread through my life. Although it is difficult to look past all the negativity and hurt, it is always worth it because it gets me one step closer to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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The hill.

I had so many goals when it came to running this summer, and every one of them went out the window the first day it was over 85 and I attempted to run. Let me tell you a secret, I HATE running when it is hot. Please understand, I do still love to run, but it sure is hard to get back in the habit now that the weather has cooled.

Tonight I decided to go for a run and figure out where a road went. It was a snap decision and I figured nothing bad could come of it. Well, I now know where the road goes, it goes straight up, and up, and up. It went up for almost a mile. About half way I gave up on my slow pace jog for a much faster walk. When I got to the top and looked down I realized that this was a ridiculous hill and at some point I was going to run all the way up it. On that day, when get to the top I will lift my arms up in the air and sing the Rocky theme song, then I will promptly roll down the hill.

Running may have been a hobby I picked up because it was something I could share with him, but I need to continue to turn it into something I do for me. Is this goal of running up that hill realistic, probably not. Am I foolish enough to try, absolutely.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

No hair, don’t care.

I have been lazy lately and have not been running. I hate running when it is too hot, so I simply have not put in the effort. Today all that changed. When I got home from work all I wanted to do was sit on the couch like a lump, but instead I put on my running shoes and hit the road. I managed a slow three-mile run. Not amazing, but a pretty good way to get back in the game.

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At one point in my run I was coming up on a little boy and his mom. When the mom saw I was there she pulled the boy out-of-the-way, I was not really worried about passing them, but it was a nice gesture. I made sure to say thank you. As I was passed them I heard the little boy say he thought I was a boy because my hair is so short. I caught the very beginning of the mom saying that girls can have short hair too. I thought it was a cute exchange and I would have liked to hear the rest of the conversation, but on I went.

I read an article a few months ago about how so many women cut their hair after going through a break up as a way feel like they are regaining control of their lives. I guess I took it to the extreme, but who do I have to impress? I remember the amazing weight that was lifted off my shoulders as I stood in my parents bathroom taking scissors to my hair. It was a horrible scraggly cut, but at the time all that mattered was that it was gone. Over the next few months my hair got shorter and shorter until we got to the point it is at now.

Personally, I sometimes forget my hair is so short. I guess it is out of sight, out of mind. The ease of such short hair is amazing. Sometimes I wonder why I spent so many years putting up with my long curly hair and I think of all that wasted time dealing with humidity and hair ties! Now, give me a good set of buzzers and a hat for when it gets cold and I am set!

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

More miles behind me. 

Lately I haven’t been running as much as I should be. I find that running helps me to find balance and let my body release some of its “I work at a desk job” energy. When I am on a run I am able to process things with more clarity. It is an amazing form of stress relief for when the walls are closing in on me. If I want to think, I can. If I want to forget the world, that is possible too. When I am on a run everything feels possible.

Concentrating on putting one foot in front of another, knowing that every step takes me closer to the goal is such an empowering feeling. I know how great I feel emotionally after a run, yet for some reason I have not been taking as much time to run as I should. I need to make more of an effort to get out more consistently and put many more miles behind me.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Buying new shoes is scary. 

I tried on so many shoes today.  It was horrible, but worth it. We went to the outlet mall close to where my brother lives and every shoe store was ridiculously busy. My dad and I were dodging and weaving as we grabbed shoes from the racks. I have no clue how many shoes I looked at but I walked away with three pairs. Two for running and one for work. 

Although I have walked so much this weekend and went for a decent run yesterday, I still had to test out a pair of my new shoes. It was just a short run, but I was excited I finished with minimal foot pain. After my last new running shoe fiasco it was great to finish and have my feet feel great. Time will tell, but I see some long runs in my new shoes in the near future!

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Forth floor walk up. 

Today my family spent the day moving my brother and sister-in-law into their new fancy apartment. Thankfully there were movers to do the heavy lifting, but that does not mean we didn’t work hard. The new apartment is on the 4th and 5th floor of a dorm, although there is an elevator we mostly took the stairs. Up and down we went a few times through the day. 
At the end of the move, a little bit of shopping and dinner I decided I wanted to go for a short run. I was thinking a mile and a half or so, well, I ended up doing an even 3 miles. That three mile run may have been a bit much for today, but really I’ve been taking it far too easy so maybe it was just what I needed. 

Boy will I sleep well tonight… and most likely wake up very sore. 

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

So much left to learn.

A few months ago I got a new pair of running shoes. I was so excited to break them in and start putting some miles on them, unfortunately they kill my feet. I have tried to run in them a few times and it always ended badly. I already have an old foot injury that flares up if I am not careful and these shoes are almost an instant trigger.

My goal today was to run approximately 3 miles. In reality I wanted to teleport home when I was barely a mile into my run. I pushed through and ran two miles but ended up walking a little over a half mile at the end. It is so frustrating when you are trying to achieve even a simple goal and are unable to succeed.

Hopefully later this week I will have more success with a run. Lately working out is something that I have not made enough time for, and that needs to change. Sometimes I get so caught up in one thing or another that I forget the importance of balance. Every time I think I have it all figured out, I realize that I really have so much left to learn.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

A shocking realization.

One of my goals this summer was to put in a lot of miles and run some fun races, but so far that has not happened. I went for a run tonight and it was awful. All I wanted to do was be back home not long after I started. It was humid and uncomfortable, but I pushed through to the end.

Somewhere around mile one I made a shocking realization, I actually enjoy running in the snow and cold better than the summer. Trust me, this concept is against all of my normal thought processes. Historically winter is my least favorite time of the year. The cold and snow are not something that I look forward to, but today I was wishing for a snowy day run.

I should set some kind of reminder to look at this post come January when I am over the cold and everything that comes with it. Who knows, maybe it will be a gentle winter that I can put in the miles I had hoped to over the summer and be ready for some amazing spring races.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

When June turns into July.

At the beginning of June I predicted a busy month, and I was not mistaken. It was every bit as crazy as expected with a few bonus items. Thankfully everything got done that needed to get done. The publication I was most worried about went to press on time and had very few issues. I survived another lifeguard class and came out wiser for the next one.

There were some shining moments scattered in the month. I ran my first 10k, something I never thought I would do. I taught my last swim lesson of the school year, which is still a little bitter-sweet. What I have been most excited about is hiking, in the month of June I did almost 20 miles in State Parks. Hiking has become a wonderful escape from reality, I can’t wait to continue taking advantage of my Empire Pass through the summer.

July is still up in the air. I know I have a few goals I hope to complete and a few habits I would like to perfect. The month will not start as I anticipated, but sometimes we have to take a deep breath and do what needs to be done. I have hight hopes for an amazing month full of adventures and happy thoughts.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

A lot of nothing.

This evening I did the bare minimum. It was nice to sit on the couch and stare at the TV or play on my phone. I am sure tomorrow I will regret the pile of dishes in the sink and the fact I wasted a beautiful evening on the couch instead of on a run, but some times it is nice to be lazy. I try so hard to do so much that it becomes difficult to manage it all. I find that some nights it is important to take some time to relax.

Sadly the dishes will still be there tomorrow and hopefully the weather will allow me to go for a run, but if not there are worse things. I have never been very good at going with the flow. I like to have an idea of what could happen, but I am trying very hard to take things as they come and not put unneeded stress on myself. The whole thing is much easier said then done, but I will keep working on it.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.