The front door.

Is it strange that I wish there was someone in my life that walked into the front door of my apartment without knocking. Maybe that sounds a little creepy, but to me it means I am not alone. I miss having someone who knows how messy things will be once they open the door, but come in any way. Someone who will help do the dishes and cook dinner. A person to give me a hug at the end of a difficult day and let me cry into their shoulder when it all feels like too much.

I have confidence that someday I will have this and so much more. Good things take time to happen.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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Weekend, work, vacation.

I feel like this weekend is going far too quickly, but yeah for me, I only have two days of work to get through next week. One of my goals tomorrow is to come up with a game plan for my days off. As much as I would love simply spending them camped out on the couch relaxing, I should probably do something slightly more productive. Maybe I will even come up with a prize for myself if I get everything done!

One of the first things on my list is to get Christmas cards written and out. I had hoped to have them ready to go by December 1st, but failed. I also have a few other Christmas related things that I need to do, but I am quite proud of the fact I am done with the bulk of Christmas! Although my apartment will be free of my normal Christmas tree this year (I did break down and buy a very small potted tree. It is so cute I am sure there will be a post about it later on), I do want to get some lights up in the windows and maybe a few other things to make it feel more like Christmas.

My hope is by giving myself this time off I will feel refreshed for the new year and ready to enjoy all that it holds.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Family.

There is no place like home after feeling like you have lived in a car for the past three days. True, I was lucky enough to be able to sleep most of the time. That is the benefit of only having to share the back seat with a dog or two. Sometimes, I forget what a long trip it really is to go out to Ohio and back. I have driven it a few times by myself, but usually am a passenger not paying full attention.

For me all the traveling was worth it. Seeing family was something that I really needed right now. Honestly, is there ever a time that seeing family would not be amazing? Personally, I think not. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and little cousins on all sides are so wonderful and supportive. I always wish there was more time to spend with them because over the holidays there never seems to be enough time to do everything.

No matter what struggles you are dealing with, your family is always your best support system. I hope if any of you are dealing with troubled times that you have are leaning on your family as much as I am on mine.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

In the mix.

Today was non-stop. It slowly untangled leaving me hopeful for an ok tomorrow, but nothing is ever set in stone. As I write this I have the Princess Bride playing in the background in honor of its 30th anniversary and a cat pinning my arm down making typing an interesting experience. Over all, today was a good day, because I never had a chance to stop and let my mind get the best of me.

I wish I could write inspirational posts every day, but the truth is that is not always possible. There are some days that the words flow with such ease and I am able to articulate my emotions. On the opposite side, I just try to write something that makes sense. Someday I hope I can look back on the scattering simple rambling posts like this one and remember that there were some good days in the mix of tears, pain, and frustration.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

One less thing.

A slow three day weekend was just what I needed to regain some energy and perspective. I slept in, relaxed and attempted not to worry about anything outside of my control. Over all it was a success and like always I wish there was more time. But the good thing is tomorrow I will wake up to a clean apartment, well rested and ready for the week. Sometimes the best thing is knowing that there is one less thing you will have to worry about tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

The type of day I needed.

Everyday is one step closer to healing, yet sometimes I have a difficult time remembering that. The struggles I once had are a thing of the past and new ones have replaced them. Sometimes I skim through my old posts and am amazed at how far I have come. At one time it truly felt impossible to hold the tears in, now most of the time I feel no need to cry.

It has been forever since I have had a day that I did not feel like anything had to get done. Despite that fact I had a relatively productive day. I did a little cleaning and organizing, but most importantly I relaxed. Sometimes my biggest fear is if I relax for too long everything will rush back at me and I will simply sit crying all day. Thankfully today that was not the case, it was the type of day I needed to reset and be ready for the next challenge.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Days off.

I feel like I am getting a double vacation!

It started with a wonderful weekend at my Aunt and Uncles and up to my cousins. Time spent with family is always wonderful. Now I have two more glorious days with no work and no major obligations. True I have a seemingly endless list of things that should get done, but going to work is not on it.

First on my list is sleeping in then taking advantage of the beautiful weather predicted for tomorrow. Of course this means hiking and possibly some time in my hammock. Hopefully I will get caught up in my journal and maybe even get the dishes done. There is laundry to fold and floors to clean, but most importantly there are cats to cuddle and relaxing to be done.

It has been such a long time since I have had so many days off in a row, I can hardly contain myself for the excitement!

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.