There are somethings that you wait for in excited anticipation, like a vacation or special event. You count down the days and hours until you get to fly off into the sunset. No matter how you look at it time never moves fast enough, then suddenly the day arrives and you are sitting there in shock you finally made. Right now, for me is not one of those times. If there were a way to pause everything, I think today I would have figured out how. February 11, is coming up far too quickly and I am not sure I am ready.
How do you prepare for a landmark you have been dreading since the day it happened? For the past 361 days that is exactly what I have been trying to do. Now I am days away and I am scared. Not because I feel incapable of facing it, although I am not looking forward to it, but because I am not sure what comes next. I know I am stronger and wiser. The future I am working toward is truly amazing, but it is unknown. All I can do is take each wave of emotion as it comes and do my best to continue to grow and hopefully someday the unknown will no longer be scary.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.