Light.

Sometimes it feels weird to not cry every day. A part of me got used to having tears be a natural part of my life. I remember days that I would take my lunch at odd times so I could go out to my car and cry. There were months that I was nervous to talk to anyone because I was worried I would break down in front of them. Even looking at my reflection was too much because then I had to face the deadness in my eyes.

Slowly days have gotten better. I can still remember watching the color return to my face and the light come back to my eyes. I no longer felt the need to hide myself. There are so many roads I could have gone down, so many times I could have stopped moving myself forward, but I am far too stubborn for that and have far too many people encouraging me. I know I am still on this road of recovery, but the light seems so much brighter and I will continue running toward it.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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Christmas cards.

I spent most of my evening writing Christmas cards. It was difficult to put my graduated to friends and family into words, but I did what I could. This has been such a strange year, one I will never forget, and countless people have help me through. There is no way I would be in the place I am now without the prayers, love and support I have received.

If this year has taught me anything it is that without others we are lost. Beyond that it is important to express thanks for what has been done and be ready to support those who were there for you through your struggle. I know a Christmas card is not much, but happy mail is always a good place to start.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

 

Steadfast & thankful week 6

This week was nice because I was on vacation for most of it! It was nice to have some down time and sleep in most of the week. Unfortunately, I was not as productive as I would have liked, but sometimes relaxing is the best solution.


Christi_Hiking post_journal page_3Day 34:
This summer was so full of hiking adventures and I am thankful that they recorded in my journal. It is so fun to look back at and remember beautiful summer days.

Want to read more about my hiking adventure?

img_3663Day 35:
Teaching swim lessons can be a challenge sometimes, but I am thankful for the excitement and enthusiasm of my students this year.

img_3664Day 36:
Although I had hoped
to do more than just 2 miles,
but I was thankful for not
running in the dark.

img_3691Day 37:
I am so thankful
that my Christmas
presents are
wrapped and
ready to go!

img_3695Day 38:
Being on vacation has its perks.
I was thankful to be a second
set of hands for my mom when
she needed me.

img_3719Day 39:
I am thankful for people who are equally as crazy as I am and wanted to do a Star Wars movie marathon with me. Just a few more days and we get to see the new one!

img_3730Day 40:
For once I am not
dreading Monday.
Thankfully I have
one more day of
vacation left!


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Goodbye November.

November has held some interesting adventures, and thankfully not all bad. Although there were a few weeks that felt far to long and a few moments of irrational fear, for the most part the month went smoothly. Looking back over everything that happened, I honestly can not believe it was only a month.

What I will remember most about November is all the time I got with extended family that I am not always able to see. Each time I am around my little cousins I am amazed by how much they have grown, I am scared that someday I will show up and they will suddenly be adults. Probably my aunts and uncles felt the same way about my generation when we were little. Honestly, even for me it is shocking to see how much we have grown.

I am not sure what the last 31 days of 2017 has in store for me, hopefully it is kind, but time will tell. What I do know is there are many things I am looking forward to thought the month. My hope is that the last of 2017 is a happy month that foreshadows what 2018 will be.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Vacation time.

I think one of my biggest summer regrets is not taking time off. Beyond regular holidays I only took a day or two. In some ways it is nice because now going into December I have a nice chunk of time off, but I think it would have been good to have some time when the weather was nice. At the beginning of the year, I felt like time off would not be so good for me, it would give me too much time to think. At the time working seemed better because it was consistent and forcing me into a routine, but I wonder if I was wrong. There is no way to know for sure, just a thought that I had while enjoying my long Thanksgiving weekend.

Next year will be different. I want to have a few adventures. Spend time with family and enjoy making my own decisions about my time.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Steadfast & thankful week 4

This was such a wonderful week that gave me so many things to be thankful for. Time with family and friends, downtime with my journal, and cuddles with my cats. I am excited to see what the rest of this holiday season has in store for me!


img_3495Day 20:
Group cuddles are rare with these two, but tonight they both curled up with me for quite a while. I know it’s a silly thing to be thankful for, but it was nice to feel loved.

img_3500Day 21:
Today I am thankful that this
evening was too beautiful for
me to make excuses not to go
for a short run.

img_3512 Day 22:
This is the third year one of my morning swimmers has brought me one of her amazing giant promotional calendars. I was thankful that she thought of me again this year.

img_3526Day 23:
I started off Thanksgiving Day with the Turkey Trot 5k. It is the perfect way to kick off the day. I was thankful my race buddy ran today too! She is a much faster than I am, but she is always at the end of the race to cheer me on to the finish.

img_3547Day 24:
I am so thankful for the next generation. These kids are such fun to be around, even if it is a little overwhelming at times. I hope I get to see them again soon.

img_3558Day 25:
I was feeling pretty low the past few weeks, but I think the last two days were just what I needed. Time with family is always a thing to be thankful for, especially when you have a family as wonderful as mine.

img_3565Day 26:
Today I spent a good part of the day at my desk finishing up my bullet journal set up for 2018. I am looking forward to filling the pages with many adventures and am thankful they are ready to go for January!

Family.

There is no place like home after feeling like you have lived in a car for the past three days. True, I was lucky enough to be able to sleep most of the time. That is the benefit of only having to share the back seat with a dog or two. Sometimes, I forget what a long trip it really is to go out to Ohio and back. I have driven it a few times by myself, but usually am a passenger not paying full attention.

For me all the traveling was worth it. Seeing family was something that I really needed right now. Honestly, is there ever a time that seeing family would not be amazing? Personally, I think not. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and little cousins on all sides are so wonderful and supportive. I always wish there was more time to spend with them because over the holidays there never seems to be enough time to do everything.

No matter what struggles you are dealing with, your family is always your best support system. I hope if any of you are dealing with troubled times that you have are leaning on your family as much as I am on mine.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.