Thankfully I have felt more emotionally stable lately. I’m not saying all is right with the world, but I feel like maybe time has begun to be kind to me. Hearing about wedding stuff still stings and seeing happy family everywhere I look is not necessarily easy, but I think I am beginning to find a better perspective.

I try think about how wonderful it will be someday when I am in the position to enjoy planning a wedding with a happy ending and having a family of my own. Someday I want to be able to tell my kids or nieces and nephews about this time in my life and not be ashamed that I spent it being jealous of everyone around me. Hopefully I can tell them that I faced each struggle with streingth, courage and determination.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


Unexpected happenings.

It has been about a week of me feeling like an over emotional mess and there are moments that it is extremely difficult to hold it all in. Many of times I have failed. Tomorrow could be a true test of the strength and courage I have gained over the past six months. I know that I can handle anything that comes my way, but sometimes I wish I there was no need to.

This week will simply be taken one step at a time and nothing more. This morning started off with a bang when I shut my foot in my car door at 5:40 a.m., not one of my more brilliant moments. After a Monday morning start like that I should have expected what the day would be like. Not that it was a horrible day, just a day of unexpected happenings, most leaning toward potential disaster. My hope is that Monday took the brunt of the week, because I could use a smooth day tomorrow with very few problems that need to be solved. Unfortunately I am sure something will happen that will push me over the edge, but I will deal with that when I get there.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.