A form of balance.

The passing of time always seems to be on my mind. Thinking of how far I have come, and where I am going is constantly running through my brain. Somehow times slips by so quickly. It feels like yesterday it was the end of April and I was counting down to Star Wars day, now I am just 3 days from seeing the new Han Solo movie. I am scared to say that before I know it the now newly green leaves will be falling off the trees, and the threat of snow will be here again.

A small part of me loves how quickly time is moving. Each passing day takes me one step closer to someday. But the other part was not ready for yesterday to be over and is terrified of tomorrow. I guess that is a form of balance, and as long as the fear stays at bay everything will be alright.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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New Year’s resolutions.

Last year when it was time to make New Year’s resolutions and set goals I was busy planning a wedding. There was less than a month and a half left to finish everything and be ready for the big day. RSVP’s were coming in, questions had to be answered and final decisions made. I thought my resolution would be to have a happy first year of marriage, but that would never be.

Although 2017 was nothing like I thought it would be, it ended in pure perfection. It was not a happy first year of marriage, but it was a happy year. There was a balance to things that I will never understand. Every down had a counter balance with a silver lining, and the year ended with me surrounded by friends, laughter and happiness.

My goal for 2018 is to enjoy the simple things. To unplug and take advantage of a broader spectrum of life around me. I have no clue what the year will hold, but I know it will be amazing because that is what I will make it. There will be lots of time with friends and family, beautiful hikes, fun in the sun, books to be read, letters to be written and plenty of time in a hammock. I will make this the best 2018 ever.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Better balance.

Is it bad that my weekend goal is to sleep, a lot?

Something about this week has me beyond exhausted. True I am a little under the weather, but for some reason it feels like more than that. Really, I was just all around lazy this week. I think the start of cold weather has me a little down and out of sorts. I failed to spend time being creative. Not forcing myself to take the time might have been a mistake. I know I can not change this week, but next week I will have to find a way to have better balance in my day.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Friday. 

The past few weeks have been busy, and my temper has gotten short. But today I did not have to deal with any of it. Sometimes it is important to have a few days off from your normal routine to give you a chance to breath. Instead of work, I hiked. It was a park I had never been to with beautiful views I had never seen.

The day was a perfect way to hit reset on my temper so I can be ready for whatever comes my way. 

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Smooth sailing.

Today was a strange in-between day that just passes by with nothing truly good or bad happening. A day of odd balance. Over the past seven months I have not had many days like this. It is nice to be at a point that I can have (hopefully) a few days of smooth sailing and no crazy emotional break downs.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

So much left to learn.

A few months ago I got a new pair of running shoes. I was so excited to break them in and start putting some miles on them, unfortunately they kill my feet. I have tried to run in them a few times and it always ended badly. I already have an old foot injury that flares up if I am not careful and these shoes are almost an instant trigger.

My goal today was to run approximately 3 miles. In reality I wanted to teleport home when I was barely a mile into my run. I pushed through and ran two miles but ended up walking a little over a half mile at the end. It is so frustrating when you are trying to achieve even a simple goal and are unable to succeed.

Hopefully later this week I will have more success with a run. Lately working out is something that I have not made enough time for, and that needs to change. Sometimes I get so caught up in one thing or another that I forget the importance of balance. Every time I think I have it all figured out, I realize that I really have so much left to learn.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Staying positive.

There are days that staying positive is easy. When I stay busy and have things to look forward to life is good. Currently I am somewhere in between. Every time I think I have hit a balancing point, my balance is knocked off and I find myself back at the beginning. I am very good at keeping myself busy, but sometimes I feel so much pressure to get everything done that I want to that I end up sitting on the couch staring at nothing wishing I was in a more stable place in my life.

After all these months you would think I would have a better handle on things, but sometimes it still feels like everything happened yesterday and I am just as lost as ever. Maybe someday I will not feel quite so confused all the time, but for now I will do my best to keep up with myself and stay positive.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.