A new month.

For the first time in quite a few weeks I am not dreading Monday. That is not to say I am looking forward to going back to work, I am simply not feeling overwhelmed with what I am walking into tomorrow. Maybe it is because by the end of the week we will be in a new month and the anticipation of that fact makes me very happy. I spent a year dreading February and most of that was unfounded, but that does not stop me from being excited to see March come my way.

With March comes the hope of spring and nice weather adventures. The flowers will start to come up and it will be one step closer to open windows and spring breezes. There will be another month of happy mail and hopefully a few surprises. New months are so wonderful and so full of possibility!

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


The little girl.

There are many reason I choose to travel to visit family this weekend. I knew it would be a difficult, emotional weekend and it would be best to get away, but I also knew that a fancy vacation would not be enough. Being surrounded by family means I have all the support I need no matter how I am feeling. I can cry, laugh and talk it out no matter when the emotions hit. I am lucky to be so loved.

I could go on and on about why I choose to come to where I am, but the truth is most of it can be boiled down to one little girl. She is so special and full of life. On that day I honestly think she is the only one that could have gotten me to eat. I have many blanks from that day, but I remember her smiling face as she took my hand and filled my plate with fruit and a few other things as I stood there numb. She sat next to me and as we ate she chattering away at a steady pace. Through the rest of the day I remember her checking in on me and keeping an eye on what I was doing. Who would have thought that a five year old would be my gardian angel that day.

Today we went on an adventure just the two of us and it was so much fun! Right now I am not sure she understands how amazing she was that day. At some point in the future I hope we can sit down and discuss the many ways she and the rest of my family and friends helped start me on the road to recovery. Until then, I hope we can continue to make memories and enjoy each moment we spend together.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


Driving long distances can have a therapeutic effect. Watching the trees and buildings go by, finding the next radio station when the last one gets too fuzzy and best of all pretending you are in the millenium falcon flying at light speed as the snow is falling. It is also a time to think and reflect, to remember all the things you are thankful for and to look forward to the adventures your time away holds.

This February will be nothing like the last one.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Birthday week.

This past week I turned 31. The anticipation of my birthday had me quite worried, and of course it was all unfounded. Thanks to my family and friends it was an incredible week. I had some fun surprises, amazing gifts and I worked extra hard last week and the beginning of this week so I could take off Thursday and Friday. All in all, I have very little I can complain about.

Tuesday morning my Aunt and Uncle had flowers sent to my office so I could enjoy them over the week. They are beautiful, colorful and smell so good. Wednesday I got to enjoy an amazing movie with friends and they gave me some fun new watercolors to play with! Thursday and Friday I was able to relax and get some chores done.

img_4522Today was the cherry on the top. I got to spend the day with friends at Strong National Museum of Play. Two of them had never gone before so it was a lot of fun to introduce them to all the fun that the museum held. We played games, visited the butterfly garden and reminisced over toys we played and books we read with over the years.

It has been years since I have been to this particular museum so it was interesting to see what had changed. Most of my old favorites were still there, but we also found a few new things to enjoy. My friends are huge gamers, so they loved playing the pinball machines and old arcade games.

For me the butterfly garden was the best part. Seeing all the flowers, green plants and colorful butterflies was wonderful this time of year when the world outside is grey. There were also so happy koi fish swimming around and a turtle basking in the fake sun. I honestly would have stayed there all day.

Last year I remember thinking after my birthday that it was going to be the best year ever, instead it was the most confusing. This year I am not sure what to expect, but I hope for wonderful adventures, and less tears.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

A few weeks away.

I am weeks away from the one year mark of my recovery process. My plan is to go into the next few weeks with as much positivity as I can. I wish I knew what challenges they held, but no matter what happens I know I can handle it. There is no doubt that there will be tears and some sleepless nights, but in the end this is simply another milestone that must be overtaken.

Fortunately, there will also be a few adventures and fun times with friends and family to look forward to. My hope is that the weather holds out so everything can happen as planed. No matter what I know that I have an unbelievable amount of support, love and prayers. There is nothing that can hold me down.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Winter trails.

There is nothing like a morning in the woods to start a day off right. I have missed hiking and spending time outside more than I realized. This summer the trails were where I thought and I came to terms with so much of the madness and insanity I was battling inside. I found that I could be independent and challenge myself. That getting lost on the trail simply meant I needed to find the correct direction and continue to forge ahead.


Last winter, I ran most weeks but this year has been cold and wet so inside I have stayed. Today, that changed. I have always wanted to try snowshoeing, it seemed like such an interesting past time, and today I had my chance! Thanks to a fellow lifeguard I was able to borrow snowshoes and thanks to a friend I did not have to go alone.

We were fortunate to have a beautiful morning with the sun shining welcomingly through the trees and a path that was already broken for us. It was a perfect adventure for the new year, and something to check off my bucket list.

January continues to be full of wonderful surprises. Every day makes me wonder what is next, but that is something that only time can reveal. My hope, is that more snowshoeing will be involved.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


Sometime in college I was introduced to Wendell Castle’s work and I was instantly in love. He makes useful things so whimsical and wonderful, they look like creatures that could get up and walk away and each one more unique than the last. I am always drawn to his chairs or benches they seem like the perfect place to curl up with a good book.

img_4169img_4171Today I got to see Castle’s most recent exhibit at the Memorial Art Gallery in Rochester, NY. It is called “Wendell Castle Remastered” featuring pieces made in the last few years. At age 85 he continues to push boundaries and embrace new technology. This exhibit was a collection of works highlighting not only his skills, which are amazing, but also to show some of what technology now makes possible.

There were two short movies that were part of this solo exhibit. One was about Castle’s process and how it has changed over the years. He has been creating these art furniture pieces since the 1960’s, so there are a lot of changes that his technique and skills have gone through over the years. The other was about his life and the choices that got him to where he is now. This video spoke to me in particular, because Castle talks about all the decisions, small or large that got him to where he is now. He recently was given an honorary Doctorate in his home state of Kansas, while there he looked back on everything that he might have missed if he had not made the decision to take a position at RIT. I hope someday I can look back on my life with a similar point of view.

Spending time in a gallery is never wasted, and today was no exception. It was nice to be inspired.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.