Over thinking.

Last night I was exhausted, last night I could not get my brain to turn off, last night I hardly slept. My mind was circling in no real direction and rarely settled on a single thought, but it kept me up far too long last night. I wish I knew how I finally got it to turn off so I could get a few hours of sleep before my alarm went off. I have a feeling that knowledge would be very valuable in the future.

Waking up tired was not how I had hoped to start the day, but thankfully I made it through alright. Hopefully tonight I will fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Otherwise it could be a long Friday. Maybe someday I will have less sleepless nights caused by over thinking and worrying, but I think chances are pretty slim of that every coming true.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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Understanding.

The planning it takes to make a TV show or movie never ceases to amaze me. The intricate story lines that run through season after season only to make sense after many episodes, and some not till the very end. Even after watching something many times over I still notice things I missed before, sometimes I wonder if the actors involved understood the twists and turns their characters were taking. A part of me hopes they are not fully aware, it makes me feel better about missing them myself.

I always wonder how this theory of not understanding something till you play through the moments again applies to life. More often than I would like to admit I have looked back and figured out the “Ah ha” moment that I missed at the time. I know there are more signs I should have seen that could have saved me some hurt along the way, but you do the best with what you have in the moment. What I do know is that there is a predetermined method and path for me. Hopefully, someday I can see how the unexpected twists and turns changed me for the better but for now I will do my best to watch out for the signs and keep moving forward.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Non-stop.

So far this week has been non-stop. I knew I was walking into a few things that needed to be done, but I guess I underestimated the full extent of it. Although it is giving me little chance to ease back into things, busy days are keeping me moving so I miss my time off a little less. The truth is vacations are never long enough, but it is nice to go back to work and feel like a necessary part of the team.

Tomorrow will be another full day, and I am already counting down the days till the weekend. Why does there always seem to be so much to do and too little time?

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

The obvious.

Too often we look for solutions in the wrong places, but thankfully we have friends that make up the difference. They are able to find the lost car keys that are already in our hands and the sunglasses we are wearing. They find a way to guide us without making us feel like fools and support us despite ourselves. When you are lucky enough to find a person like this, hold on and never let go. Stating the obvious with grace is the most difficult thing to do, but it is also the sign of a true friend.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Forward.

One year ago I never thought I would be where I am now. Honestly, a year ago I was not quite sure what direction my life would be going and could hardly think a week ahead let alone a year. There are still many things I need to figure out, but day by day I like to think that the picture is getting clearer. I have so many ideas for how I would like my life to move forward, hopes and dreams that might someday come true. The fears of my past still feel like a storm cloud following me but the future is bright, and I plan on pushing forward letting the storm fade away.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

The countdown.

The end of vacation is always a little odd. The last few days you try to get back into normal habits. Going to bed on time, cleaning and putting things away. Sometimes it is a relief to get back to normal, other times you wish you could change everything. Over the past week I have hiked, run, slept in and spent time with family and friends. It was the type of time off that I wish was never-ending because I can never get enough of it.

I have one more day of freedom left, then it will be back to 5:30 am alarms and sitting at a desk all day. Thankfully I only have a little over a month until my next vacation. Let the countdown begin!

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Walking in the dark.

There was a time you could have blindfolded me and I would have known where every root and stone was on the campground. Now that is not so much the case. Tonight I walked in the dark and felt like I was going to trip and fall. I still love every moment I get to spend here, but so much has changed.

Many of the cottages where friends once lived have changed hands and are now occupied by strangers. Where the creek was once deep it is now shallow. It sad to see the things I once did no longer happen, but it is equally wonderful to see new traditions being made.

Although I am sad I can no longer walk fearlessly around in the dark, I am glad the best parts of this place continue to live on generation after generation.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.