Sometimes I think about dating again and I get really scared. I know it is silly, but I a year ago I never thought I would have to go through an awkward first date again. Getting to know each other, not knowing what questions to ask, conversations not going as planned, or maybe not really going at all. It is awful to think about. I guess the good thing is that it is not worth dreading too much since there is no potential first date in the forseeable future. On the other hand it is nice to be in a place that I am thinking a new relationship is even being possible. Six months ago the concept was completely unthinkable to me.
There are some good early relationship things that I look forward to experiencing once again. The nervous butterflies you get every time you think of them. The excitement that comes with each date and getting to know each other is not alway horrible. Sometimes the conversation flows with such ease that before you know it all the first date jitters are gone.
Who knows what the future holds. For right now I will continue becoming the best me that I can be so when someone walks into my life I will be ready to deal with whatever first date comes my way.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.