When I started writing this blog, I did not know what it would turn into. Honestly, I am still not sure I know. Blogging combines two things I am not very good at, keeping a journal and being open about my feelings in an articulate way. Usually I feel like I ramble through my emotions without reason. It also means all my hurt and pain can never be hidden because it will always be a search engine away.
My initial thought process in starting to pour myself into this place was for me to force myself to be honest and open about what I am going through. Not only for myself – but to show my family and friends how I am doing. There is nothing worse than being asked over and over how you are doing by people who care. It is not that I don’t want to tell them, but the truth is that it hurts to recount everything time and time again. Even good things hurt sometimes.
Another reason I write is for others. I am not the first, only or last person to have a relationship end tragically. I usually do not write specifically for the benefit of others. I try to be honest about everything in hopes that I can say something that will open up a new thought process for someone else in pain. My theory is that if people take the time to read my posts they either care about me or can relate to the emotions I am experiencing.
I do not know when this blog will end, maybe it never will. For now it is my safe place to share and record my recovery. I still have a long way to go, but I know when I get there it will be a beautiful place. For now I will keep writing.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.