I still have not decided if recognizing each month that passes is a good thing or not. Everyday I try to look forward and be better and stronger than yesterday, but on this day each month I feel like I have to look back. I guess without this day I would not be forced to evaluate how much I have changed and grown.

My first month was full of grief, the second I was stronger and the third I feel like I have gained courage. Each of these qualities came as a gradient gradually over days, weeks and months. I am still dealing with the good and bad of each characteristic, but every day it feels easier. I hate the moments that grief takes over, but I know I can handle it. I am thankful for the strength and courage I continue to gain with each passing day.

Although I do spend most of my thoughts on looking back on an anniversary day, but I also look forward. I wonder what another month will bring. Who will come into my life? What new struggle will I face? How will each day feel? I guess there is nothing that can answer those questions but time.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


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