Before.

Sometimes I try to remember what it was like before. Before I was left at the altar, before we got engaged or celebrated our one year anniversary. Before a summer of going to triathlons. Before I met him. The end of April would have been two years together, but we actually met a few months before that. It feels like he was in my life longer then that, but he was not. Most of the memories are happy, but when I look back on them they have a dark cloud looming in the distance.

I am not sure why I look back, it is impossible for me to ever be that person again. Honestly I do not think it is possible to be the same person I was yesterday. Every day you learn and grow take in the good and try to leave behind the bad. The goal for tomorrow is to be better than you were today, to face the same or new challenges wiser. I know all of that is just a theory and it takes a controlled environment to test the validity of a theory. The unfortunate truth is we do not live in anything that could be considered controlled, but that does not have to stop us from attempting to be a better person every day.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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