My first week back to work one of my co-workers said that she wished I had gone on the honeymoon. She thought it would have been so romantic if I had and fallen in love with someone while gone and come back married. My first thought was that if that had happened it would have been a pretty messed up marriage. My second was that movies get recovery from a break up all wrong. There is a small part of me that wishes it could be easy to heal and fall in love again. The rest of me thinks if that was the way it worked you would never be able to grow stronger and braver through the pain.
There are some days I feel like I am living in a movie. These days I am feel strong, like I have healed and am ready to move on. I like to think of these pockets of time as a glimpse of my future, because, in reality I still have yet to figure out what being healed means and moving on seems too scary to think of. At the moment my thinking is more about the kid of person I want to be when I make it out of this tunnel. At the moment my path feels good, but in some ways I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Simply being stronger is not enough, but right now it is a good place to start.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.