If there is one thing I have learned over the past few months it is not what a person says that matters, it is that they are there to listen when you need to talk. It is not being put in a position you have justify your situation, it is when people are available to listen. I have been pleasantly surprised by the grace that most people have for someone who is grieving.
The first moments are hard, but not as difficult as what is next. The grieving process does not need fair-weather friends. What impacted me the most were the people who didn’t disappear after a week, or month. The people who continue to check in on me and who make an effort to see or talk to me are the ones that have helped the most.
The pain of loss is never the same. Each situation is different and unique like each person it affects. When a friend is in need of comfort I wish there was a magical turn of phrase that could make everything seem ok again. I know from experience there is not. What I have learned is there are two options, you can let the pain overtake you, or with the help of friends, family and time you can let the pain make you stronger. The choice is up to you.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.