Not drowning.

What I need right now is a couch day. A guilt free day I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to. A day where real cloths are not required and I can have plenty lazy hours. It’s not that I’m terribly worn down by work, more that I finally feel like I could enjoy a day off without drowning in misery.

Not a day has gone by I don’t think of what might have been. I still wonder what he is doing and how he is dealing with his own version of recovery. Sometimes it is amazing to think of how much I have changed. Not only my perception of events, but me. I feel like I have become more confident, in some ways even more outgoing. I am sharing pieces of myself I would usually hide. It is incredible what we are capable of handling.

Everyday I can hold my head up and say that I am surviving a horrible situation with grace. Do I still have moments of pain, yes. There are still times I can’t sleep and times I don’t know what to do with myself, but I am thankful I am not drowning anymore.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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