With winter hanging on so far into spring the walls have started to come in on me. There are so many things out of my control, so I am trying to focus on what I can influence. I can not control the weather, but I can remember that summer is on the way. I can not control feeling sick, but I can do my best to take care of myself. I can not control the insanity at work, but I can help when needed.
Control is something that I like to have. I do not enjoy feeling like I have no influence over my surroundings. I think my current situation has helped me look at many things in a different way. Everything in my life changed in an instant. I wish I could say I was as instantly a better person, but I still have many problems to work out.
I have high hopes that summer will come soon and be a revitalizing time. Hopefully it will be full of adventures and leaves me with a sense of control. I know that every day I am learning more about myself and my place in the world. Eventually, I pray to have a better sense of direction and to feel like I can start to live the life I am meant to have.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.