The times I feel my emotions weigh me down are less, and the weight feels lighter. Yet when the weight does fall, and the emotions overcome me. It takes my breath away. I know it is not weakness and although I am doing well in my recovery, I need to remember I am still recovering.
Sometimes, it is so easy to forget all I have gone though. I have taken to heart the concept of living in the moment. The past is out of my hands, even when it haunts me. The future is where it should be in its unknown infamy. Right now, all I can handle is the day to day, but I am getting better at planning for the future. Maybe someday soon I will have the strength to open myself to new opportunities.
Any more, I don’t know what I fear. Do I fear myself? Do I fear others? Do I fear those who can hurt me? Sometimes I feel like I’m hiding myself away from potential pain, staying in the safety of my own bubble. I know eventually I will have to start taking chances again, when that time comes I know I will be ready. For now I will take my time and deal with each wave of emotion as it comes.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.