Today is my one month anniversary. It is not the anniversary I planned on having. I expected a month of being very much in love. Instead I spent the month remembering how to be alone, how to cook for one, trying not to cry and attempting to function as a normal adult.
I do not regret what happened. I am a firm believer that God does not give us more than we can handle, and He always has a plan. In the last month I have felt God working in my life in a big way. He kick started my recovery by surrounding me by an amazing support group. I had friends and family that gave me hugs and shoulders to cry on the entire day. I felt nothing but love and it helped to overshadowed all other emotions.
Never would I have imagined that a talkative (and persuasive) five-year old girl would be the best one to take care of me when I was at my worse, but she was. After telling her I was not hungry, I will never forget being led to the table of food and having a plate filled. I doubt anyone else could have gotten me to eat, but she did. Throughout the day I could see her checking on me, she somehow knew what I needed. I will never forget how wonderful she was to me.
Unfortunately, there is no way to speed up my recovery. Over the last month there have been good days and bad days. I have been blessed to have co-workers, friends and family that allow me to express my emotions. Over and over again I am told how proud people are of how I have handled myself in an impossible situation. I guess for me there was never another choice, I was not going to let this defeat me.
Somewhere in the future I will have an amazing life. I don’t know what it will be, or who I will share it with. All I know is that God has a big plan for my life and I can’t wait to see what it is.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.