The first few weeks I was numb. I honestly don’t remember much of what happened. I know I had a few vent sessions with friends and co-workers, I know I shared the events that lead to the horrible day. Beyond that I can’t remember much. It’s a little scary when you think about it. I know I cooked, ran, showered, worked, wrote, took care of myself, but it is all a blurry haze. Like waking up to a foggy morning when the clouds settle in the valley.
Last week was the first week I started to remember the day-to-day, and it was a horrible week. Maybe one reason why it was so hard was because I was starting to feel more again. Similar to the sensation after Novocaine wears off, it is a little itchy and things start to hurt a little as the feeling returns. We can all agree, it is not a pleasant sensation.
Last Monday I had a dentist appointment, it was horrible. The next day I found out I had to replace the gas tank of my car. It was such a frustrating, long, emotional week. Hopefully the concept that all bad things coming in three’s is true, because I’m not sure how much more I can handle at the moment.
Eventually the Novocaine wore off and my gas tank has been replaced. All in all I know I can get through anything. My strength through the last few weeks has amazed me, there have been days I don’t know how I held myself together. I still have far to go in my recovery, but time is forever moving forward toward happier days.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.