I still have silly fears, irrational fears. I know they are completely and utterly untrue, but a part of me wonders what if they are. What if I am too scared to ever open up to anyone again? What if I am forever seen as someone else off cast? What if I never get another chance? What if this is as healed as I ever feel? What if I can never lose these empty feelings?
Like I said, I understand the irrationality to these fears, but it doesn’t stop them from popping up in my head from time to time.
When they do I remember how many people are on my side. So many people are praying for me and believe in me. That gives me confidence to face my fears. I believe that in time I will move on. The right person will never see me as a cast off, and the world is full of opportunities and chances. Healing the emptiness does not happen over a day or a week, it takes time.
I know better days will come with time. Right now I rely entirely on time. It is on my side as I move forward in the healing process, but against me with how long and empty some of the days and hours feel. I am sure that whatever God has planed for me is bigger then I could ever have thought to achieve. First He had to make me stronger, and stronger I will be.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.