I’m not sure I have moved past my recovery, but at least I have reached acceptance, or at least am somewhere in between. I can’t change what happened, even if I could I don’t know that I would.

Just because I accept it, does not make the pain any lighter.

Most days I can get through the day without thinking too much about him. Every once in a while I pick up my phone to text him and remember I can’t do that any more. The last bit of a run I often wonder how he will analyze what I have done, then I remember I will never know.

Some days I wonder how he is handling everything. It was his decision, but it changed both of our lives.

For whatever reason I had to live through this experience. Someday I will have to draw on the strength I continue to develop. God has a bigger plan for me then I could have ever imagined. Someday I will look back and understand. For now I will continue to take each day as it come and become stronger every second.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.  


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