Sometimes, when I’m alone, I run through things in my head. Things I maybe could have done differently, things I could have done better and I wonder what it would be like if that had happened. If I would be in a very different place right now. Would I be married to you? Would we be happy?
Through the months of wedding planning there were a few times that you encouraged me through breakdowns. There were times I was worried the whole thing would fall apart. That no one would like this or that, that I would disappoint our families. How can I forget that you told me none of that was true. That everyone would love it. That our families would love it. That none of it mattered because at the end of the day we would be married.
How could things change so fast? How can you go from the one who soothes my fears and wipes away my tears to the one who allowed all my fears come true.
In all honesty, I don’t think there is a thing I could have done better. At the end of the day, your family did not want to accept me. At the end of the day you did not choose me. At the end of the day, I’m better off.
Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.