Not even on my enemy.

There are many things over the years I have jokingly wished on people I don’t necessarily get along with. The pain I felt the morning of February 11, when instead of marrying the man I loved, I found I was left alone, is something I would never wish on anyone. It was a strange feeling of loss. It was the loss of a life, of dreams, of a future that will never be.

Just a few short weeks ago I thought I was starting a life with him. I never dreamed of an easy life, just a happy one with the person I love. I knew there would be future heart aches. I knew there would be struggles. But I also knew I would have him by my side for all of it.

Instead I am looking toward a blank future. Terrifyingly blank. I was not prepared for this future. How do you prepare to move forward alone when you are planning on a forever together?

Suddenly old dreams from before I met him are coming to the surface again. My life is once again set on a blank page just waiting for me to make it beautiful.

The pain that I have felt has waned. I have found that I am stronger than I thought and I am left wondering what the future might hold. Wherever life leads me I know what has happened to me will give me a different perspective then before. I know that I can handle what feels impossible.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.


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