The trap.

Last night I had a difficult time sleeping as I gave myself an unnecessary pity party. Most of the time I do an alright job of being content with my life. Many things are not ideal, but there is no reason for that get me down. We all live on a different timetable. Healing, recovering, moving on is an individual experience. Comparing to others is a dangerous road to walk down, but thanks to social media is all too easy.

We are all forever a work in progress. Learning from our mistakes, growing and becoming better versions of ourselves. Books, shows and movies make us feel like change should happen overnight. The reality is slow, but worth it. There are so many things I now know about myself that are important. Two important things I learned is that when trial sets in I can make it through, and writing is the best form of therapy. Seeing all the twisting emotions written down helps untangle the mess, come to terms with the outcome and makes me stronger and wiser.

Sleepless pity parties are have become more and more rare, but each time I fall into the trap it shows me I still have more to learn in this endless lesson and many messes to untangle. Thankfully I also have endless support and so many words available to me.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

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Good moods.

Today at work everyone was in oddly good moods, the atmosphere felt more like the Friday before a long weekend than a Wednesday. It made for a quick, happy, productive day. I wish I knew what triggered our positive attitudes, it would be nice to apply it on demand when days are frustrating and difficult.

For my part, I think I enjoyed the stillness of the past few days. I have been able to get things done without feeling rushed, and am even a head on a few things. My only hope is that the next two days are as enjoyable as the last few. I think every office could use more happy days, instead of feeling stress and pressure surrounding you.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Little reminders.

Is it weird I get excited when the first of the month is on a Monday. It always seems like the days makes more sense. Each Sunday is a multiple of seven, and there seems to be a different rhythm to the weeks. It really is the simple things that seem to end up making the biggest difference to the way we perceive the world around us. Unfortunately, that seems to be a fact too quickly forgotten in the busyness of days. Lucky for us there are always little reminders if we are willing to take a second to see them.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Foreshadowing.

I hope this weekend foreshadows the coming week, if not longer. More or less things went oddly smooth the past few days. I got a few things done before I could be behind, and caught up on a few others I was slacking on. It would be nice to end a week feeling like I was on top, instead of struggling to stay afloat.

Things are always what you make it and I am doing my best to go into the new week with a positive attitude and hope of a productive, peaceful week. Now I just need to make it happen.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Well rested.

Yesterday I did something that I have wanted to do many days in the past, but never did. I came home from work and felt so tired I simply went to bed. By six, I was asleep. There were a lot of things I should have done. Dishes, cleaned, finished this or that, but I decided sleep was the priority. I woke up a little after midnight, but fell back asleep after a bit. It was nice to get so much restful sleep for once. When it was finally morning I did not have to drag myself out of bed like usual. I got up, made myself pancakes and got ready for the day.

After my well rested night I am left wondering if it was recovery from the week I had, or in preparation for the one coming. I guess only time will tell.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Better than today.

If I could have given up on the day this morning I would have. Within an hour of getting up it felt like things went sideways and it took most of the day for me to feel caught up with myself. I know there will always be days like this, but they always blind side me making me feel miserable. Throughout the day I did my best to stay positive and get lost in what needed to be done, instead of being absorbed by what was out of my control.

Tomorrow is a new day, and the last one of the week. Hopefully it will prove to be better than today.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.

Grow.

I wish the aches never came back. But there is always something to triggers tears, then all is lost to the horrible feelings that creep in. The more I attempt to hold back my emotions, the more forceful they become. Too often I think that I should be passed this, I should be strong enough, wiser and braver. The truth is there is no limit on those things. Being wiser, braver and stronger has no ceiling to reach or bottom to sink to. You always are whatever you put into it.

The ending point of my emotions that I thought existed is proving to be fictitious. Something to help me through the tears and make me feel like there a clear way though. I know this stage, whatever one I am currently in, will meet some kind of end. But I also know it will slowly blend into something new, yet it will only feel a little different. One day I hope to not have any more breaking points, at least not on this subject, but for now I will continue to take it all as it comes and grow braver, stronger and wiser.

Time truly makes fools of us all.

Tomorrow will be a little bit easier and I will become a stronger me everyday.